Who’s Your Buddy?

{ August 12, 2009 @ 1:25 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Hello everyone, I know it has been a while since I’ve blogged. I’ve been really busy this summer and I know we all have. So, back at it!

I had a very interesting experience about a week  ago. I was asked to join with 4 other friends for what is to become a mentoring/accountability group. Ok Great. So I go to the first meeting last Thursday morning. We we’re to meet talk or whatever and the go to lunch. Cool. So, I arrive (the 1st one as usual, I hate to be late) and wait for the rest to arrive. A few others start to arrive and we go back to the conference room and some begin to talk about their respective churches, two of which were church plants. One pastor I had never met turned out to be some authority on church planting(I’ve been there and done that, that’s another blog), who travels and has upward to 175 speaking engagements per year aside from his pulpit, he told us. He has written books and other published literature. WOW! Big Shot. :) He and another church planter from the area began to talk and exchange ideas and what not. I just sat and basically listened accept for few brief comments. Finally the last pastor arrived so we could begin what we came for, yet the two church planters continued to talk and talk and talk. The facilitator broke in and finally began a devotion about our business as pastors and how hard it can be to hear from God at times. He elaborated some more and in light of all his comments  he ask us a specific question. Are you able to here from God? We began to go around the table starting opposite me and answer the question. As I listened I felt like most answers were sorta generic, So I decided to be a little more transparent. (mistake)

I simply answered the question. I said that I was having difficulty hearing God amid all my business and struggling with capturing and holding on to the vision God has for my church. (I felt that would have been an honest answer for any pastor. For me, I am tri-vocational pastor). I am a Sr. pastor, school teacher, coach basketball and softball at the school, take online classes through Liberty University and I do painting and minor home repairs on the side. I have to do this in order to make ends meet. As you may surmise I am very busy.

I continued my comments by adding, I have a hard time getting my congregation to catch the vision I believe God has given me for our church.

We’ve been there 3 years now and God has really spoken to my heart about reaching out to the immediate area around the church. Our area is multiracial to say the least, a melting pot of many nationalities, but my church is mainly white (oops! I mean Caucasian). Although we have won a few other races of people to the church since we’ve been there. (Black-African American and Hispanic). My church hasn’t really caught the vision of evangelism yet, and for me thats really disappointing.

I continued by stating my past successes in the last 15 years of full time ministry and how I expected the same sweet success, but I have been struggling with my vision for the church because my people are having a difficult time catching it. It’s like driving nails into concrete. That ’s not all I said but it’s the jest of it.

As I finished my transparent comments (because I thought thats what we were doing) the group proceeded to jump me like “ugly on ape”.  (Especially the two church plant guys) They began to tell me that maybe I wasn’t the right person for that area, another said maybe I should consider going back to staff pastoring. They ask me questions like, did you do a demographic study of the area before you came? Would I live in the area I pastored?  They suggested that I could not draw or win people if they weren’t like me. They suggested that I move to another area. I even heard a condescending comment about my accent, as to insinuate I was not intelligent. ( oh well, I guess all that college stuff was a wast of time).

After grilling me for about 30 minutes we went to lunch. Guess what? I was on the menu for lunch as well. By the time they were through with me I was depressed, discouraged and doubting my calling.

I thought these mentoring/accountability groups were for encouragement – let me repeat  - “encouragement”. Before I came, I wasn’t discouraged, depressed or doubting. I was simply answering the question that everyone else seemed to skirt.  Thanks for the love guys.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to throw my colleagues under the bus. I guess they thought they were helping me? But, I was expecting a little different response.

Where are people you can talk to and confide in that want judge, criticize and critique you. We all need someone to talk to. Wouldn’t be nice to be able to bare your soul once and awhile without fear of being embarrassed by your “friends”?

Can you imagine if Jesus had treated his disciples that way, yet He knew each of them. They didn’t have to tell Jesus about their fears, weaknesses, doubts or discouragement’s. He knew them. Jesus didn’t judge them, he loved them. Jesus placed faith in them. Eventually He sent them out to turn the world upside down. Jesus didn’t give them his negative opinions he gave them authority, power and built their faith. Yes, they all had short comings, doubts and fears. When Jesus died on the cross they were all doubtful and afraid. They were the men that would evangelize the known world.  Jesus didn’t give up on them, or write them off.

Please, when you have opportunity to tare down or to build up. Choose the encouragement side. In these times we don’t need embalmers we need anointers.

And – after that experience I would like to apologize to anyone and everyone I have ever demeaned, discouraged, talked down to, or embarrassed with negative and condescending words and opinions. I truly want to be your friend and buddy.

God bless all my friends and please help me to be an encourager.

Pastor Richard

Who’s Your Daddy”

{ June 27, 2009 @ 12:00 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Sorry folks, It’s been a while since I’ve posted.

I hope everyone had a great Father’s Day, as I certainly did. It was a wonderful Father’s Day for me.

The way I figure it, it must be difficult to understand what it’s like to have your children grow up , leave home, get married, and move away, unless you have experienced it. Well I have, although I still have one of my three still living at home, but she just had her 16th so it want be long now.

I used to kid around about being glad when all my kids would finally leave home so I could get some peace and quiet. You know what I mean? When all three were making very loud noises, like running noises, screaming noises, yelling noises, falling noises, crashing noises, fighting noises, like hitting, kicking, pulling, pushing, and crying noises and then would come the spanking noises (yes, I said the “S” word.)

Now that 2 out of 3 are gone I actually miss having all 3 of my children home at once, because  I can also remember the laughing noises, giggle noises, playing noises, tickle noises, also drum, guitar, piano and singing noises, plus the hugging noises, kissing noises, and I love you daddy noises.

I remember all of the life things we walked them through, like, their  first steps, riding the 1st bike, going to Kindergarten, their 1st girl/ boy friends, broken hearts, driving, graduations, college, and marriage. ( no grandkids yet)

My two sons have been gone from home for 3 and 4 years now and I find the longer they have been away the more I miss having them home.

This past Father’s Day was great because, I had all my children home. My oldest son (25) now lives here in VA Beach near us, My middle son (23) lives near Charlottesville VA, and my daughter (16) is still living at home. My son from Charlottesville came in to complete the trio. All were present, so we all did something that dad loves to do. We spent the day fishing together. We had a blast. We caught a lot of fish but it wouldn’t have mattered if we hadn’t, we were all together, father, 2 sons, and daughter ( oh yeah, mom and daughter-in-law were on the beach worshiping the SUN while we fished.)

By the way, I lost my dad (Ray) 3 summers ago. He was my step-dad since I was about 5 yrs. old. Ray was my best friend and words can’t describe how much I miss Him.

I realized something this Father’s Day, I believe I already new but now to a greater degree. If I miss my children when they are away from home, how much more does God our father miss us now? We have been sorta stranded here on earth since Adam and Eve fell to that deceiver Satan in the garden. Remember God used to walk and talk with Adam in the garden. They were close, intimate friends you know.  God also formed Adam out of the earth and then formed Eve, she was part Adam / part earth. They were and are His children. (I say ARE because they are still alive.) How it must have broken God’s heart when Adam and Eve, His first Human children, left home so to speak, separated by their disobedience. He missed them so much, He sent His son 1st born Jesus to give His life and to endure their punishment and our punishment on the cross in order to make a way for them to come home, and now we all have a way home.

Oh, how God would love to have all His kids home. Thank You Father God, You are my Daddy!

P.S. Just a little friendly advice, Parents love your children! Children love your parents!

Rich

Entertain me

{ June 13, 2009 @ 11:43 am } · { Uncategorized }
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A few weeks ago a couple friends of mine decided to delve into the world of Christian entertainment while simultaneously shunning all secular entertainment. How impossible is that? To protect their identity I’ll call them Ynot and Evad. My two friends blogged about there 7 day experiment @muddiedwaters.wordpress.com. Please understand I’m not trying to slam my two friends. I think very highly of them and value their ministry and the influence they have. I’m just bringing in a different point of view.

As I read their blog day after day I noticed how they began to debunk most Christian entertainment and compared it to their secular entertainment, and to hear them speak of their particular indulgences they are precious. They talked about how they missed their secular music, TV shows, internet,  etc. You can read it @muddiedwaters.wordpress.com. I admit I have been tempted and indulged in secular entertainment and justified it because it was just funny, or high quality and I enjoyed it, but then found myself in the middle of compromise. ouch!

In some areas I agree with them when it comes to the lower quality of some Christian entertainment. (Who’s fault is that?) However, how much Christian media did they expose themselves to?  Was it enough to make a true comparison?

I wonder if we really miss the point of Christian entertainment especially if YOUR A CHRISTIAN! Doesn’t the bible speak about the things that enter our mind through our eyes and ears, hmmm! and what about the things that we think about, somewhere in Philipians, hmmm! Something about protecting our soul and spirit and heart and mind from negative influence. We do teach our kids this stuff don’t we? Oh well, I guess I’ve read to much of that bible stuff. Maybe I’m a closet Jesus freak! Time to come out. Especially in light of recent developments concerning some of my colleagues.

Of course we know that entertainment is a matter of taste and in that respect their is no bad entertainment as long as there is an audience/consumer, But we as Christians must, must, must , filter the kinds of entertainment we consume. Believe it or not, what we put into our minds, trickles into our spirit and soul and it will re-appear in our actions, life style and the way we influence others.

As a father of three, my wife and I always tried to expose our children to the best Christian entertainment we could find. I admit at times it was hard to find quality Christian entertainment that will relate to a younger generation. Again, (Who’s fault is that?) But, we felt if we were restricting their intake of secular entertainment then we were obligated to give them a good Christian alternative, we somewhat succeeded. All three of our children now ages 25, 23, and 16 are very active in Christian music/media and other ministries in there respective churches. Do they use secular enternment? Yes. But they know where to draw the line when it comes to compromising there Christian beliefs. Do they always make the right decisions? Maybe not but, I hope they do. Do You?

Ah, here’s the rub. When we as adults are teaching the youngsters about the pros and cons of entertainment consumption we are obligated to teach them the why’s. What I mean is this- what is the purpose of a particular type of entertainment? – the character and motive of those producing the entertainment and is it acceptable according to the Bible that say we believe and trust.

I guess at least one point I’m making is that we must be careful about what we allow into our lives. I’m not saying all secular entertainment is bad or evil. However, as Christians we should be aware of the spiritual implications of the secular media whether it is music, movies, TV, radio, photograph, video or written. Yes, spiritual implication. We believe that God is a Spirit, and that we receive His Spirit when we are born again into the Kingdom of God, therefore we must believe in the spiritual and supernatural. We however seem to forget that there is an apposing Spirit called Satan out there who uses secular entertainment to influence the minds of those who will partake.

I could go on and on but I’ll try to bring this to a close. One more question.

Why is it so important that we be entertained? What is the obsession? Please comment. We want to know you opinion.

Rich

“Turn the other Bumper”

{ June 7, 2009 @ 4:08 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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As I was talking with my son today after church he said, Dad, did I tell you I was hit while driving on I-64 this week? He proceeded to tell me that while on the interstate traffic had slowed to crawl, then to a stop. He noticed there was a large pick-up truck  following extremely close to his rear bumper. Literally right on top of Him. So, as traffic began to move my son began to take his foot off the break and depress the clutch and his car rolled back a few inches before the clutch engaged. At the same time the truck that was only inches away from his bumper punched the gas and hit the rear bumper of my sons car.

Lyndsey (my son) got out of his car shaking his head and as he began to speak to the guy from the truck, who had gotten out also, the truck dude began to yell at Lyndsey telling him that it was all his fault because he had rolled back. Lyndsey tried to explain that he had only rolled back a few inches and if is truck hadn’t been following so close that they would not have hit. Truck-dude didn’t take to that very well and continued yelling. He asked if there was any damage to Lyndsey’s car. Lyndsey pointed to the scratch on his bumper and the truck-dude yelled at him and said, “I didn’t do that, that was already there.” Lyndsey then pointed to the silver paint on the blue bumper of the truck. T-Dude said, “my bumper is to high I couldn’t have done that.” Lyndsey said, “no it’s not to high” and gesturing with his hand  compared the heights of the bumpers. T- dude was still arguing while traffic had began to zoom by them as they were standing in the middle of the interstate. Lyndsey finally said, “look if I call the cops it’s going to be your fault because, you were behind me and you hit my car. The person in the rear always gets the ticket. No cop after hearing both our stories would find me in fault. But you know what, there’s not that much damage and I don’t want to deal with this right now so I’ not going to call and I’m letting you off the hook.” Truck-Dude jumped back into his truck and sped off.

Well, sound familiar to anyone? Why is it that people just wont accept responsibility for there actions. As a defense mechanism they blame someone else for their actions even if it means lying. Truck-dude just didn’t want to face face facts, probably because he didn’t want to get a ticket. I know, who does?

I have found that owning up to your responsibility can take lot of “guts,” especially if your at fault. I believe God honors honesty. Plus, You don’t have to deal with guilt. When you treat people right than, people will treat you right. Even though Lyndsey may never see Truck-dude again, Truck-dude may or may not admit that he was wrong and that Lyndsey forgave him. No, he may not admit it but, he want forget it.

I guess everyone isn’t responsible or honest. Imagine that. Anyway thanks Lyndsey for showing good character  and “turning the other bumper!”

Be Nice

{ June 3, 2009 @ 4:56 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Be sure when you try and teach others to follow the “Golden Rule”, and how they should show love for their fellow man, you will be tested.

I pastor the Cornerstone Church of God in Norfolk Va. and teach at a Christian School in Norfolk as well. I give daily devotions to my high school students and I try to teach the students to treat others with respect and to forgive when they have been mistreated. Of course being a Pastor you would think I would have this love and forgiveness thing down. Oh, Well.

On Monday last I ventured the typical Wal-mart run. I should have known better because it was the first of the month and thats when Uncle Sam sends out government checks and pays all of his employees and being in a military town with several bases all around thats a lot of paychecks. It had slipped my mind that it was the first of the month so, here I go. I am in a particularly good mode that day and I begin shopping which entails weaving in and out of the crowed isles, and dogging those who would cut you off to get the bread isle first. I finally finished my shopping which took me a lot longer than I wanted and I headed toward the checkout lines. To my bewilderment there were 7,000 people in the lines and only 4 out of 20 registers open. I found what I thought was the shortest line and fell in. As I was waiting I noticed that the young lady who was about 6 people in front of me was separating her items into 4 different orders and paying for each one separately. It took forever. She finally moved on and my mood was still OK. The line moved down till there was only one person in front of me and just like that the register broke down. The store manager came by and moved us to another line. By now what should be a 10 min. run had taken 40 min. My good mode was fading. I finally got checked out and was on the way to my car. When I got to my car I found that someone had placed a shopping cart very near my car  and in the space beside me. I checked my door for dings and all was well. I loaded my groceries, started the car and began back out, when another car began to pull into the space were the shopping cart was while simultaneously blocking me from backing out. The person in the other car sat still for some time and finally rolled down the window to ask a passer by if they move the cart. The passer by moved the cart directly behind my car and just kept walking, while the other car proceeded to pull in beside me. My mode change once more and I began to get  a little heated under the collar. Just 30 sec. before I got in my car, I had helped another lady by taking her cart over to the outside rack (I was being a good boy) just to come back to my car and be treated like I was. Well, I got out of my car, glared at the person in the other car (her window was rolled up thankfully) and I said loudly, “what in the world?” I grabbed the cart, stomped over, slammed it in the rack and came stomping back to my car. I began mumbling to my self, ” Treat someone nice and look what you get.”

I calmed down as I drove home, and as I was pondering the events of my quick Wal-Mart run which took an hour or so, the Lord reminded me ,” I guess you better learn to practice what you preach.

And that is a “Real Life Word.”